Birth Story 1: How I became a Monster

It started innocently enough. At 34 I became pregnant after a few runs of Clomid, glucophage, weight loss and such. Spent month 3 at a fiddle camp at the University of Limerick, Ireland where I hated all the food except the fruit and fries. I think this led to my one pregnancy complication - six months of horrendously painful and relentless gallstone attacks. To be honest, after knowing I could endure that pain, I was not at all worried about the pain of giving birth and so far that's on the mark. I lived on power bars and cola Icees. Maybe that explains my son's sweet tooth?

Here's the way I wrote Ezra's birth story before I had gone monster-patient. It had still not dawned on me that it could have been handled differently. Comments in gray added later. Such a typical story...

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I went in for my Non-Stress test at the 42 week appointment. My docs were itching for me to accept induction. I was less than a fingertip dilated and 75% effaced. No labor signs or signals at all. We went for an ultrasound to check the amniotic fluid, and doc said if there is plenty we can wait a few more days. However, there was very little amniotic fluid left, so we agreed to be induced.

At 4pm Friday I took Cervadil and was admitted and monitored, and by 10pm was starting to feel labor pains and beginning to dilate. I wanted it to be as natural as possible and avoid excessive drugs that would lead to c-section or slow labor.

The Cervadil did a great job by itself. I went through the entire process of labor pretty smoothly and was keeping my cool but was entertaining the possibility of taking Stadol for pain by 6pm Saturday, around 7cm. However, the baby's heartbeat was having some dips and irregularities. The doctor said I could, but he wouldn't recommend it at the time, so I said forget it. (About 26 hrs into labor now - tick tick!)

I got to 10cm with no drugs. It was time to push. Baby's heartbeat was pretty high and doc was a little worried. The pushing felt great next to the labor phase! It was ALMOST fun. I pushed for 2 hours but could not get the baby past the pubic bone. His head was rotated. Doctor put his hands in to try to spin him, and that made me scream like a demon - that was the worst part of the process! But Ezra spun right back. I tried several positions (on my back) but couldn't get him out. The doctor recommended C-section after 2 hours of pushing (about 30 hrs labor - tick tick!), and due to the heart rate issue I reluctantly agreed. (Doc even talked to my parents and told them "we need to convince Shari to have a cesarean now. Note the effective use of emotional manipulation and power differential.)

I felt horrible having gone through all that just to be cut open. There was a flurry of activity while I was whisked to OR and prepped - I felt like a piece of meat, so out of control and still having painful contractions on that flat cold table. As soon as they put in the spinal, my mood shifted for the better. Miraculously, within 10 more minutes I heard the screams of my newborn and learned it was a boy! They sucked out the mucous, cleaned him up, and let me see him. Seth video taped his first moment after (not during) birth. At that moment, it all seemed worth while and I knew I had done the very best I could. When the doctor opened me, Ezra was sitting right there at the surface and really had not descended much at all, so I believe it was the right decision to undergo C-section. (I've heard it's common to hear a reassuring reason that you "did the right thing". Guess that avoids a lot of pesky post partum questioning?)

We are home now and I am healing quickly. I love my boy more than anything. He is a beautiful little innocent with dark eyes and lots of wavy dark brown hair. (Had my gallbladder removed six weeks later - double abdominal whammy!)

Now we are planning the bris for this Sunday.

We are exhausted but in heaven. More later! Thank you all so much for your support!!!!!
(P.S. I failed to produce adequate milk. Reason unexplained.)

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Yes, I am thankful for this healthy baby boy - extremely unendingly thankful. But not to the docs. Soon after this experience, I began doing my research into c-section, VBAC, etc. I will never know if the section was absolutely necessary, but allow me to do some Monday morning quarterbacking about how I would handle it differently.

* I would realize that the doctors had a vested interest in delivering me by 42 weeks.

* I would ask "how low" and "how dangerous is that" and "what are the parameters" regarding the amniotic fluid level.

* I would not have agreed to immediately going to the hospital. We would have gone home to sleep on it and do our own research.

* I would have reminded myself that many babies just need a few more days.

* Once in the hospital, I would have resisted breaking the waters as that starts the c-section clock. I would have insisted trying other birthing positions such as squatting and all fours to help the baby descend. I also would have eaten instead of gotten terribly weak by the end of a long labor.

* I would have worked harder to figure out if the baby's heartbeat issues were truly an immediate emergency or within normal variabilities. But by then I was pretty wiped out.

My gut feeling is that Ezra was just not ready to be born, and that he would have come within a few more days of waiting.

Since then, I've become a "monster patient" - questioning everything and resisting when needed, but always respectfully.

Shari